Λιγο παλιό αλλά ακόμα σωστό:
HOW TO BE A COOL GREEK STUDENT IN ENGLAND!
1. Own a mobile phone and use it at inappropriate times and places: restaurants, cafes, lectures, dates, etc.
2. Own a mobile phone and make sure its stood up in full view on the table when you are having your 'cafe'.
3. Keep checking your mobile for calls even if nobody has called you.
4. Refer to anyone who's not Greek as "xeni" and pity them for not being as cultured and sophisticated as the Greeks.
5. Have predominantly Greek friends, with a few token "xeni" thrown in for diversity. Talk Greek when the "xeni" are around.
6. Dress as though you are headed for a club when you're actually going to your lectures.
7. If you are a Greek woman, stare menacingly at other women around you, especially if they're English or more attractive than you.
8. Smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and smoke only Marlboros.
9. Travel only in groups of 10 or more & be as loud as possible at all times.
10. If you're single, go to all Greek college/club parties and all Greek Youth conferences, even if you're 45 years old.
11. If you're a single Greek guy, tell 'agglides' you're a "successful businessman" or that you "own a successful business back in Greece" even if you're an unemployed goat farmer.
12. When in a nightclub, stand and bob your head even if everyone around you is frantically dancing away to 'Staying Alive'
13. Call all dance music 'rave'.
14. If you're a Greek guy, date 'agglides' because Greek women won't let you near their knickers unless you marry them.
15. If you're a Greek woman, don't have sex with anyone during your student life because you're worried what everybody else will think.
16. Make the coffee shop your second home.
17. Live in London and think the rest of the Greeks in England are 'horiates'.
18. Go to none of your lectures but still manage to pass your year.
19. Don't do a project unless you can copy it from a friend of yours in the year above, even if it is a 50-word essay.
20. Go out with 'agglides' because it seems like all the Greek women that come to England look like you grandmother's ass.
21. Never ever buy a TV license!
22. Bring around 5000 duty free cigarettes with you every time you come back from Greece.
23. Smoke them all in a week.
24. Study 'Greek style' by failing your first year twice and your second year three times so that you can be a student for ten years.
25. Spend the whole of your university life within one mile of your University campus and never go and visit places in England.
26. Have sex with 2 'patsavoures' in your 5 years in England and tell everyone back home that they are all 'mou......' and you shagged a different one every weekend.
27. Sunglasses! What's life without a pair of sunglasses? Wear them all day and night (you can put them on your head) long even if you haven't seen the sun for the past seven days!
28. Do not forget to teach the internationally acclaimed word "malakaaa!" to as many "xenous" as you can. And then, be very proud of your teaching skills.
29. Do not forget to verbally abuse everyone. Especially those that do not understand your language.
30. Do not forget "Queue-jumping". After all, all "xenoi" are"malakes" and will not see you.
HOW TO BE A COOL GREEK STUDENT IN ENGLAND!
1. Own a mobile phone and use it at inappropriate times and places: restaurants, cafes, lectures, dates, etc.
2. Own a mobile phone and make sure its stood up in full view on the table when you are having your 'cafe'.
3. Keep checking your mobile for calls even if nobody has called you.
4. Refer to anyone who's not Greek as "xeni" and pity them for not being as cultured and sophisticated as the Greeks.
5. Have predominantly Greek friends, with a few token "xeni" thrown in for diversity. Talk Greek when the "xeni" are around.
6. Dress as though you are headed for a club when you're actually going to your lectures.
7. If you are a Greek woman, stare menacingly at other women around you, especially if they're English or more attractive than you.
8. Smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and smoke only Marlboros.
9. Travel only in groups of 10 or more & be as loud as possible at all times.
10. If you're single, go to all Greek college/club parties and all Greek Youth conferences, even if you're 45 years old.
11. If you're a single Greek guy, tell 'agglides' you're a "successful businessman" or that you "own a successful business back in Greece" even if you're an unemployed goat farmer.
12. When in a nightclub, stand and bob your head even if everyone around you is frantically dancing away to 'Staying Alive'
13. Call all dance music 'rave'.
14. If you're a Greek guy, date 'agglides' because Greek women won't let you near their knickers unless you marry them.
15. If you're a Greek woman, don't have sex with anyone during your student life because you're worried what everybody else will think.
16. Make the coffee shop your second home.
17. Live in London and think the rest of the Greeks in England are 'horiates'.
18. Go to none of your lectures but still manage to pass your year.
19. Don't do a project unless you can copy it from a friend of yours in the year above, even if it is a 50-word essay.
20. Go out with 'agglides' because it seems like all the Greek women that come to England look like you grandmother's ass.
21. Never ever buy a TV license!
22. Bring around 5000 duty free cigarettes with you every time you come back from Greece.
23. Smoke them all in a week.
24. Study 'Greek style' by failing your first year twice and your second year three times so that you can be a student for ten years.
25. Spend the whole of your university life within one mile of your University campus and never go and visit places in England.
26. Have sex with 2 'patsavoures' in your 5 years in England and tell everyone back home that they are all 'mou......' and you shagged a different one every weekend.
27. Sunglasses! What's life without a pair of sunglasses? Wear them all day and night (you can put them on your head) long even if you haven't seen the sun for the past seven days!
28. Do not forget to teach the internationally acclaimed word "malakaaa!" to as many "xenous" as you can. And then, be very proud of your teaching skills.
29. Do not forget to verbally abuse everyone. Especially those that do not understand your language.
30. Do not forget "Queue-jumping". After all, all "xenoi" are"malakes" and will not see you.
